What Is Submission?

With the explosion of E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey on best-seller lists around the world, everyone seems to be discussing the submissive dominant relationship. Some are intrigued or excited by the very notion, yet some find themselves screaming and running in the other direction. Either way it is THE hot topic.

Like everything else, there are always going to be people that will jump on the bandwagon just because it’s the latest craze and there are always going to be people who are deeply dedicated to something and practice it religiously, in this case BDSM.  What you have to always remember is to take information and decide how you want to use it or not use it, because nobody knows you better than yourself.  Just remember, there is no right or wrong.  There are only two consenting adults.  I believe the most important message here is to never stop exploring sexuality.  Keeping the sexual relationship between you and your partner fresh can be one of the most rewarding things in your life. Why rewarding? Hmmmm, let’s see…relieves stress, makes your relationship stronger, and my most favorite reason…it’s fun!

I am and have always been an extremely sensual woman and part of being sensual is knowing your body and what you like.  The amazing thing is that you are always discovering new things that you might not have known you liked, as long as you keep an open mind. To really experience mind-blowing sex, you need to truly commit to your partner, because it is your job to know them as well as you know yourself and sometimes even better.  Learn what turns them on.  Know their passions…their wants…their desires, because sex is like a fire; it can stay at a low sizzle or, if fed, grow into a raging inferno.  You get exactly what you put into it.  If you look at sex as an activity, you probably won’t ever get much out of it (except of course the release). However, if you look at it like a marriage…a good marriage…a marriage as it was intended to be, you will have the best sex of your life.  After all, what is a marriage?

 I believe it is a union of trust that allows you to feel safe to explore, without being judged.  The other person is there to support you, to care for you, to encourage you…because they believe in you.  If you truly trust someone, submission is easy and more importantly…freeing.  Now it takes time to get to this level, because with new ideas comes resistance.  It’s human nature.  That is where the trust comes in.  Know your partner.  Give them gentle pushes.  Sometimes they need it.  I remember the first time I had anal sex. It was a process.  It started off with a playful spank.  The next time there was some licking.  The next time there was a little cock teasing, right up against my ass cheeks.  My partner at the time knew that was virgin territory, so he just didn’t plow right in there, although I do enjoy that now 🙂  He seduced my ass.  He took his time and built my trust and by the time he was done, I was begging for that juicy hard cock to take my virgin ass over and over again.  I fully submitted to him and it was amazing!

Now I have to admit, I was nervous and not sure it was something I wanted to do at all.  The thing that pushed me in that direction was him.  I saw how much he wanted it and how turned on he would get from the least bit of acceptance from me.  As a sexual woman, I always want to please my man, but it wasn’t just that.  His excitement made me excited.  Each time my excitement would build and build, until it was all I could think about and had to experience it.  Now does this mean I am into kinky sex? Does it mean I want to be tortured and fucked by gangs of men?  What it means is some words/phrases may have a definition, but the degree is totally up to the individual.

 Now that you have learned MY definition of submission, don’t you want to tell me yours?